He Does Not Leave The House

He Does Not Leave The House of The Wife He Is With To Go To Another Wife’s House Except Due To A Serious Need
Related by way of Haroon bin Sa’eed al-Aylee, that ‘Abdullah ibn Wahb informed him , that Ibn Jareeh informed him, on the authority of ‘Abdullah Ibn Katheer ibn al-Mutlab that he heard Muhammad ibn Qays say:

"I heard ‘Aa’ishah talking and she said: " Shall I inform you of something about me and the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam," We said: "Yes. She said: "When it was my turn for the Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam to spend the night with me, he out on his upper garment and took off his shoes and put them by his feet. He spread the corner of his lower garment on his bed and then laid down on it until he thought that I had gone to sleep. He took his upper garment slowly and put on his shoes slowly, and then he opened the door, went out, and closed the door slowly. I covered my head, put on my veil, and tightened my lower garment and then I followed his steps until he reached al-Baqee (a graveyard next to the Prophet’s Masjid in Madeenah). He stood there for a very long time, and then he lifted his hands three times, and then he started to head back, so I started to head back. He hurried up. He ran so I ran. He came back to the house and I came to the house, however I beat him there, so I entered, and I lay down in the bed, he entered the house and said:

‘O ‘Aa’ishah why are you out of breath?"

I said: "It is nothing. "He said:

"Tell me, or the Most Kind, the Ever Aware will tell me."

I said: "Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be a ransom for you, and then I told him". He said:

"Was it your shadow i saw in front of me?"

I said: "Yes". He struck me on my chest, which hurt me and said:

"Do you think Allah and His Messenger would wrong you?"

I said:"Whatever people conceal Allah, the Almighty, and Majestic knows." He said:

"Yes Jibreel came to me when you saw me. He called me and hid from you. I responded to his call, but I hid from you. He did not come in because you were not dressed. I thought that you had gone to sleep, and I did not want to wake you up because I was afraid that you would feel abandoned." He said: " Your Lord has commanded you to go to the inhabitants of al-Baqee ‘ and seek forgiveness for them."

I
said: "How can I speak to them O Messenger of Allah?" He said:

"Say: Peace be upon the inhabitants of the city from among the Believers and the Muslims, and May Allah have Mercy on those who have gone ahead of us, and those who will come later, and we shall in Shaa Allah join you."

Going to the residence of the co-wife during her time is not allowed at night except for necessity. An example of this type of necessity is when he staying with one of his wives, and he needs to accompany another wife some place (such as the hospital) or she wishes to her final testament to him for anything else that he must be present for. If he does that and does not stay away for too long then this night is not forfeited. However, if he leaves one wife to care for another that is sick during her night, he must make up however many nights she missed.

Taken From Supporting The Rights Of The Believing Women (p.121-124) By Umm Salamah As- Salafiyyah.

How To Give Naseeha

Question:

Our Shaykh -may Allah preserve you, I hope you can explain the legislated way of correctly giving Naseehah (sincere advice). Especially if the advised person is a fellow Salafi who has made a few mistakes?

Shaykh Dr. Muhamed Aqeel:

Naseehah (sincere advice) -may Allah protect you- has a very lofty status in Islam. The Prophet ﷺ said, "This religion is Naseehah", thrice. We said to him, "For whom O Messenger of Allaah?", he said, "For Allah, for His Book, for His Prophets and for all Muslim leaders and common folk." [1] So giving Naseehah to our brothers entails enjoining virtue upon them, forbidding them from evil and calling them to all good things.

The Prophet ﷺ says, "… and that you deal (treat) with people as you would like them to deal with you." [2] This principle -may Allaah preserve you-, that you deal with people how you’d like to be dealt with:-

• How would you like people to give you Naseehah?
• Would you like them to advise you with force?
• With foul language? With violence? Or with kindness?

As Allaah says, "Repel evil with that which is better. Then verily, he between whom and you there was enmity, will become as though he was a close friend." (Fussilat 41:34)

There’s no doubt – may Allaah preserve you- that we’re flawed in many issues. We have major flaws in our interaction with our fathers and mothers. Wallahi (by Allaah), some parents complain about their children, saying, "If only he hadn’t started practicing! When he wasn’t practicing, he was more obedient to us than he is now!" This, by Allaah, is what we’ve heard from some fathers and mothers.

As well as our dealings with our siblings! Our dealings with our neighbors! Our dealings with our wives! Our dealings with our husbands! To the point that one of them said, "Don’t marry a righteous (practicing) woman! You know, my wife has caused me so much stress!"

Na`udhu billah (We seek refuge in Allah)!
Na`udhu billah (We seek refuge in Allah)!

He goes against the statement of the Prophet ﷺ, "…so marry a righteous woman, you will be successful." [3] Because she started practicing without knowing the right way. She didn’t learn how to give Da`wah to her husband.

Similarly, many husbands… may Allaah keep us safe. They seem like they want to drive people away from men that practice their Religion. Even though a religious man -in reality- will either love his wife, or he’ll abstain from oppressing her, because he fears Allaah The Most High. But we’re flawed.

Another example, is our practice of advising and dealing with one another. We have a little harshness, and we seem to blow mistakes out of proportion.

This is why we need to return to the guidance of the Prophet ﷺ. How did he deal with the Jews? Like the Jewish man that came to the Prophet ﷺ and greeted hm by saying,
"As-saamu `alaik (Death be upon you), O Muhammad." This Jewish man was a criminal, here in Madinah! "Death be upon you, O Muhammad"! So the Prophet ﷺ replied, " Wa 3alayk (and upon you)."

May my parents be sacrificed for him ﷺ.
What etiquette! Our bodies would waste away and we’d be unable to conjure up one tenth of his etiquette ﷺ.

He said, "and upon you." Our mother, `Aishah رضي الله عنها said, "Upon you be death and Allaah’s Curse!" Upon you be… what? Death, and Allaah’s Curse! So he said to her, "Calm down, O `Aishah." She said to him, "Didn’t you hear what he said!?" So he responded, "And you, didn’t you hear what I said? I said, ‘and upon you’… Allaah answers my supplication upon him, and he doesn’t answer his supplication upon me. Now, I say, May death and Allaah’s curse be upon him." Because the Prophet ﷺ supplicated against him, and then said to her, "Compassion isn’t introduced to anything except it beautifies it, and it isn’t removed from anything except it deforms it."[4]

Our Religion is a religion of Compassion (Rifq) -may Allaah preserve you. Be compassionate towards your brothers, be patient with them. bring their hearts together and give gifts. The Prophet ﷺ used to give hundreds of camels as gifts. He once gave a Bedouin a whole flock of sheep. ﷺ

As for matters of Creed -may Allah preserve you:
Here in Madinah, the was a brother from outside the Kingdom, and I was advising him on some matters of Tawheed (monotheism). So he said to me, "Slow down, slow down. I’m sixty years-old now, and for the last fifty years, all I can recall is my mother taking me to the grave (of a perceived Saint) and kissing the steps of the Shrine. Do you expect me to leave this creed of mine of fifty years with a couple of statements!? Slow down, one thing at a time…"

Truly, he was right! For thirteen years, the Prophet ﷺ tried to get them (the Quraish tribe) to leave al-Laat and al-`Uzza (major dieties of pre-Islam Quraish). It wasn’t a simple matter of a few days before Allaah’s punishment befell them. When the Prophet ﷺ was expelled and the Angel of the mountains said to him, "If you wish, I’ll crush them between the two mountains", the Prophet ﷺ said, "No, I’ll give them time. perhaps some of their progeny might worship Allaah."[5] Yet those people were disbelievers! He was patient with them.

So what about your Salafi brother who’s made some mistakes? Be patient with him, and kiss him on his head (an Arabian show of compassion and goodwill) and tell him, "My brother, by Allaah, I love you (for His sake)." For example, "O Mu`adh, my brother, I love you (for Allaah’s sake)" Am I not right?

"O my brother, I love you."

You don’t come to them and say, "You all and your Shaykh (scholar/teacher) don’t understand anything", and, "you all are stubborn", and "you all (this and that)…" Obviously, they’ll say, "You don’t understand anything, neither you, nor your Shaykh."

So pay attention to your brothers -may Allaah preserve you- and be patient with them. This period in time is that of Ghurabah (strangeness/foreignness). We are strangers nowadays. So if you see somebody that has the scent of Salafiyyah… Huh? Just a scent… Yes, I said the scent of Salafiyyah, then kiss his head and say, "By Allaah, I love you." [6]

References (added):
[1] [Saheeh Muslim No.55]
[2] In Saheeh Muslim from Abdullah ibn Amr Al-Ass [Saheeh Muslim; Book 020, Number 4546]
[3] Book no. 8 The Book Of Marriage (Kitaab Al Nikkah) of Saheeh Muslim Hadeeth #3457- Abu Hurayrah

[4] [Saheeh Muslim 5/7 of the Arabic. Shaykh Al Albaanee cites it in Mukhtasar Saheeh Muslim no. 1433, p. 672.] & Related by Muslim (16/146) from ’Aa‘ishah (radiyallaahu ’anhaa)
[5] Saheeh Muslim Book 019, Hadith Number 4425

[6] Muhammad ﷺsaid:
"If one of you loves his brother, he should tell him that he loves him."
Saheeh Bukhari (Imam Bukhari’s Book of Muslim Morals and Manners & Abu Dawud; Kitab-al-Adaab; Tirmidhi; Kitaab-al-Zuhd) – more on: [Abu Dawud - According to Shaykh al-Albani, this Hadith is Saheeh. See al-Albani, Saheeh Sunan Abi Dawood, vol. 3, pl. 965]

You’re not my Father: Advice to Brothers Who Marry Women with Children : Shaykh Muhammad ‘Akkoor

by AbdurRahman.Org

Question:

There is a problem here in America, perhaps it is also in other places, and Allaah knows best; it is that a man may marry a woman who has children from her previous marriage. The children are ill-mannered and they say to their mother’s husband: You are not my father! The intent behind this statement is: I don’t have to respect you because you are not my real father. This can cause problems between the spouses and could perhaps result in divorce. So what is your advice to men who marry women with children that are ill-mannered and likewise, advice to the children and to the mothers? Benefit us, and may Allaah reward you with good.

Answer:

In the name of Allaah, the Most Merciful; the Bestower of Mercy. All the praise is for Allaah, the Lord of all that exists. May prayers and peace be upon our leader Muhammad, his family and companions, all together. To proceed:

If a man embarks upon marriage to a woman that has children then he is aware and knows that she is not like other than her from the women who are free of (these types of) concerns. He should not forget that a woman loves her children no matter who they are from; be it him or other than him. So firstly, he must take into consideration her feelings.

Secondly: He should tolerate their harm to him out of consideration for their mother and goodness to them; even if they treat him badly. For children are such that their natural disposition is lack of respect; lack of reverence; lack of patience.[1] The grown man is not like the small child.

When the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) proposed to Umm Salamah, may Allaah be pleased with her, she did not agree. So he asked her the reason and she said: “O Messenger of Allaah; nothing has prevented me from accepting except that I have ferocity within me,” meaning, jealousy. “And I have children. I fear that I would be negligent of you or that I would bear a sin due to shortcoming in my dealings with you.” So he said to her: “As for your children then they will be my children.”

This is evidence that when a man takes a woman who has children, then either he can take her and along with what she has of responsibilities and bear that and be patient or he can leave her (i.e., not marry her) and marry someone else. But since he has taken her and married her then from good manners, good etiquettes, and good treatment is that he puts up with the harms from her children; even when they tell him that he is not their biological father. This is correct; he is not their biological father. He puts up with it for the benefit of himself and the benefit of his wife, until Allaah makes for him a way out from that difficulty.

Similarly, if the woman takes a husband that has children; and she knows that he has children. It is obligatory upon her—when she takes him and accepts him—that she accepts him along with what he has from responsibilities; and that she does not come the next day and say to him: “It’s either me or your children.” This is not possible. Since she came to him while he has children then she is to be patient putting up with their harm and treat them as if they are her children.

So I say, to both—the man and the woman—if either of them takes the other while he/she has children who have manners which are not pleasing; not noble; not honorable; not religious; rather, they are sassy-mouthed and impatient when dealing with them, then it is obligatory upon him/her to take this into consideration and try to arrive at the means which will…Did you say something?

Questioner: No, Shaykh, go ahead.

Shaykh: Is the sound clear?

Questioner: Yes, O Shaykh, the sound is clear.

Shaykh: I say: Since this man has taken this woman that has children then let him be patient and seek the reward for (his treatment of) them. He should not threaten her saying that either she rectifies them or he will divorce her. This is not from goodness and not from good association (with one’s spouse). Rather, he should be patient and put up with their harm and treat them well and accept from that that which contains a degree of harm for the sake of their mother. Otherwise, the marital home will not be rectified, it will not thrive, and it will not last.

If from the very beginning, there are problems; there is no tranquility; no patience, no seeking of Allaah’s reward; no tolerance for the children –and perhaps some of them are teenagers; and you know that teenagers have something from harm which is known only to Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic—if the adult does not have tolerance for him and is not patient and does not deal with him with that which is better, then perhaps he may lose him (the child). Perhaps he would leave the home or leave the family. Perhaps he would commit some random act that would harm the stepfather, harm his mother, or harm his siblings.

At any rate, the man and woman within the martial home are like doctors. They look at the illnesses which are present within the family and they treat them with wisdom, each party acting from his/her respective position until Allaah, the Glorified and High, brings relief at their hands and unifies them and they live (in harmony). As long as they have this responsibility; the man takes the woman while she has children or the woman takes the man and he has children, then one must be patient with the one who has this as his condition; until Allaah brings about relief.

We ask Allaah to rectify our state and the state of the Muslims.

[1] It is as if the Shaykh is saying that children need to be taught these things.

Translated by Raha ibn Donald Batts
http://mtws.posthaven.com

http://abdurrahman.org/family/youre-not-my-father-advice-to-brothers-who-marry-women-with-children-shaykh-muhammad-akkoor.html

Stay Strong and don’t lose hope

The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said:
"Allaah `azza wa jall said:

‘Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by being inflicted with poverty, and were I to enrich him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by wealth and affluence, and were I to deprive him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by good health, and were I to make him sick, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self-amazement does not enter his heart. Certainly, I run the affairs of My slaves by My Knowledge of what is in their hearts. Certainly, I am the All-Knower, All-Aware.’"

(Tabarani. See also: al-Silsilah al-Sahihah by al-Albani [Authenticated by Shaykh Albaani])

Everything happens for a reason, don’t despair In shaa Allaah, help is on its way:

Muslim Women in Paradise

Allah (SWT) mentions that He will recreate Muslim women in Paradise in the following verse of Quran:
"Lo! We have created them a (new) creation. And made them virgins…" [Sura Al-Waqi'ah (56): 35-36]
That is, Allah will recreate the elderly women and make them virgins; the same will be done for old men, Allah will make them youth.

This is also mentioned in the following Hadith:
Al-Hasan Al-Basri says that: "An old woman came to the Messenger of Allah (صلی الله علیه وسلم) and made a request: ‘O, Messenger of Allah, make dua that Allah grants me entrance into Jannah.’ The Messenger of Allah (صلی الله علیه وسلم) replied: ‘O, Mother, an old woman cannot enter Jannah.’ That woman started crying and began to leave. The Messenger of Allah (صلی الله علیه وسلم) said: ‘Say to the woman that one will not enter in a state of old age, but Allah will make all the women of Jannah young virgins forever.’" [At-Tirmidhi]

It is also mentioned in the Hadith that the women of this worldly life have superiority over Hoor al-Ayn due to the acts of worship and obedience that they performed in this world. Therefore, the believing women will enter Paradise just like the believing men. If a woman had a number of husbands, she, upon entering Paradise with them, would choose among them the one with the best character and behavior.

The following Hadiths confirms the fact stated above:
Umm Salamah (رضي الله عنه) narrates that she said to the Prophet Muhammad (صلی الله علیه وسلم): "O, Messenger of Allah, are the women of this world superior or the Hoors of Paradise?" He replied: "The women of this world will have superiority over the Hoors just as the outer lining of a garment has superiority over the inner lining." Umm Salamah (رضي الله عنه) then asked: "O, Messenger of Allah, what is the reason for this?" He (صلی الله علیه وسلم) answered: "Because they performed prayer, fasted, and worshiped Allah. Allah will put light on their faces and silk on their bodies. The human women will be fair in complexion and will wear green clothing and yellow jewelry. Their incense-burners will be made of pearls and their combs will be of gold. They will say, ‘We are the women who will stay forever and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never undergo difficulty. We are the women who will stay and we will never leave. Listen, we are happy women and we will never become sad. Glad tidings to those men for whom we are and who are for us.’" [Tabarani]

Ahl Al-Bid’ah amongst the Jinn

Al-Hâfidh Ibn Kathîr – Allâh have mercy upon him – reports the following incident in his tafsîr of Sûrah Al-Jinn, verse 11:

Ahmad b. Sulaymân al-Najjâd said in his Amâlî: … Abû Mu’âwiyah said, “I heard Al-A’mash say, ‘A jinni once came to us and I asked him: what is the favorite food amongst you?’ He replied, ‘Rice.’ So we gave some to them and I saw handfuls of rice being lifted and I couldn’t see anyone [picking them up]. I asked, ‘Do these false desires (bid’ah) that are amongst us exist amongst you?’ He replied, ‘Yes.’ I asked, ‘How are the Râfidah amongst you?’ He replied, ‘The worst of us.’”

Ibn Kathîr said, ‘I presented this chain of narration to our Shaykh, Al-Hâfidh Abû Al-Hajjâj Al-Mizzî and he said, ‘This chain of narration is sahîh all the way to Al-A’mash.’’

Who Is The Bankrupt Person?

Who Is The Bankrupt Person?

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ asked one group of his companions:
“Do you know who the bankrupt person is?”

They said:
“A bankrupt person amongst us is the one who has neither money nor property.”

The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The bankrupt person of my nation is he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayer and fast and giving great amounts in charity.

And at the same time, he would come having abused this one, and slandered that one, and consumed the wealth of the other unlawfully, and shed the blood of yet others and having beaten others.

Then any person whom he has WRONGED will be given from his good deeds on that Day. And if his good deeds are exhausted until he clears the account concerning all of the people he has OPPRESSED, the sins of those people whom he has wronged will be thrown unto his account and after that, he will be thrown into the hellfire.”

[Sahîh Muslim, Book 32, Number
6251]

All Praise belongs to Allaah, may His peace and blessings be upon our final
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, his family, his companions and all those who follow his
guidance.